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| Expert advice from leading San Francisco wedding and event designer, Taylor Nguyen |
 | Who and what do we tip? Our catering bill shows that gratuity is already added into the bill. As for everyone else, what is expected? | | |  |  | Let's start with a little clarification. There is a difference between tip and gratuity. A gratuity is added automatically into the food/beverage price and can range from 15-20 percent. A tip, on the other hand, is a voluntary gift given for excellent service. Here's a suggested list of vendors to tip. Of course, if a vendor not listed here goes above and beyond to make your day spectacular...by all means, show your appreciation.
BEFORE THE WEDDING
-Makeup & Hair: 15% of total bill |
-Rental delivery: $5-$20 per person |
-Chauffer: 15-20%
THE WEDDING
-Civil ceremony officiant: $50 to 75 |
-Clergy: $100 to $150 this if considered a donation, not tip |
-Ceremony Musician: $30 to $50 for those included in rental. $15 to $25 per hired musician |
THE RECEPTION
-Valet: $2 to $4 per car |
-Coat Check Attendant: $1 per coat |
-DJ/reception musicians: $15 to $30 per musician or 20% of booking fee |
-Wait staff: $20 per person, in addition to gratuity built-in |
-Bartender: $25 per person or 10% of total bar tab |
-Reception Site Manager/Maitre d': $50 or more per manager or 15 to 20% of final bill |
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MOST RECENT Q & A
| Q: | We're having a very casual wedding at the beach. Do I have to spend the money on programs? | | A: | Everything about wedding planning is about priorities. I strongly advise that you follow your individual taste and your budget. Do you like receiving programs when you attend an event? Does it make you feel more welcomed? Or do you generally toss them aside and feel they are wasteful? Only you know that preference. In terms of etiquette, there is no set rule that programs are required. The good news is that there are plenty of resources on this website to look through and find creative program ideas. To program or not, that is the question! | | Q: | Can I wear black to a wedding? Is that a faux pas? | | A: | It’s totally fine to wear black to an evening or black tie event. However, for a garden wedding—think of your own comfort first. Black absorbs heat and is quite stark for such a genteel event. Perhaps mix it up—try a floral black print, or do a colored top with a black satin or chiffon skirt. My point is, match the tone of the wedding don’t worry so much about the color. | | Q: | Is it okay to wear white to a wedding? | | A: | C’mon, it’s her wedding day. There are plenty of other colors or patterns you can wear for 8 hours. And if you by all means love, love your white linen sheath---wear some fabulous colored stones, silk scarf or clutch that will add color. Never ever let yourself be mistaken for the bride. That would make you a BEDNA (Bad Etiquette DNA). | | Q: | We’re having trouble deciding between a sit-down dinner or a buffet. We think we’d like a buffet, but we don’t want it to feel like we’re hosting a family casual get-together. Any suggestions? | | A: | As with most things in life, or at least in my closet---variety is the key. Especially with black heels. A girl can never own too many of those. But let’s focus on our other love---food! Buffets are lovely due to their array of choices offered to guests. With most weddings having a large amount of out-of-towners, it’s always fun to offer a station with local favorites. In San Francisco we’ve featured a Seafood and Sourdough Station. In Chicago we’ve done Mini Deep Dish Pizza Slices. You can kick it up a notch and include stations that tell the story of you and your ancestry. We’ve served a Family History station with selections of our grandmother’s eggrolls mixed with his mother’s chow mein recipe. Most caterers are very open to customizing buffet menus. And finally, buffets encourage mingling amongst guests, which gives you time to sneak away and kiss that new spouse of yours! |
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